PGA Primetime Wednesday! 1/13/10

- We're back with Larry, Marisol, Faizon and the teens. Cue the on-cue party!

Larry: "Hi fans, things are getting hot and heavy here in the Boost Mobile Where My Opponent At? Command Center! You've been voting at a faster pace than ever, as everyone in the PGA Omniverse wants to get their final votes in before tonight's deadline!"

Faizon: "It's a good thing that Boost Mobile® has the best and most reliable network in the business to handle all of these online votes and texts, Larry! It’s out-STANDING."

Larry: "It sure is, Faizon! Thanks again to our friends at Boost Mobile® for giving PGA fans a chance to let their voices be heard! Marisol, why don't you tell the fans about some of the other World Junior Heavyweight Championship contenders that they can vote for?"

My god, if you were playing a drinking game with 'Boost Mobile®' as an option, you'd be dead already. The TV-phone screen fires up some Kid Falcon (text PGA5554) footage --- all from his match with Whoomp Del Rio last week and what looks like a shot of him arm-dragging Larry Little Feather at the PGA Academy. But hey, it's a good looking armdrag.

Marisol: "Sure thing, Larry! Next up is a newcomer to the PGA and one of the prize new recruits from the PGA Academy, Kid Falcon!"

Faizon: "Why, hey! He's the champion! He's got my vote!"

Marisol: "Er, no, no, that's KING Falcon who's the world heavyweight champion. Honest mistake, Faizon!"

Faizon: "Out-STANDING!"

Larry: "Well, there's no mistaking our next voting option, the one and only Demon Drum, Raijin Narukami! (PGA5555) He's another former World Junior Heavyweight Champion and he fought Brian Genius to a time limit draw at our last pay-per-view, FInal Four!"

Marisol: "A lot of people think Raijin would've won that match if he had a bit more time. Maybe he'll get another chance at Crossfire!"

Faizon: "And then there's the...[pause] Premiere Panamanian Pimp of the PGA, Whoomp Del Rio! (PGA5556). Whoomp there it is, eh guys! Ha-HA!"

Suddenly, we cut away from the highlights back to the studio, where this music fires up and Whoomp Del Rio himself walks onto the stage! The teen audience is booing him, which seems a bit odd to me, but who's to say with these kids today.

Larry: "And Whoomp here he is indeed! Whoomp Del Rio, what brings you to the Boost Mobile® Where My Opponent At? Command Center!"

Whoomp: "Larry, Larry, Larry! And Faizon, good to meet you. And you, my dear, must be Marisol. I was told to look for the loveliest woman in all of Philadelphia, but my word, that was only a modest description."

WDR kisses Marisol's hand. She takes it in stride.

Whoomp: "Whoomp Del Rio is here to personally say hello to all of the PGA fans who are voting on the, how you say, Boost Mobile®! That texting number is PGA5556. The extra six is because I'm extra six-y, ha ha!"

Faizon: "This guy is out-STANDING!"

Whoomp: "But seriously, fans, it would be a great honor to wrestle on your behalf for the World Junior Heavyweight Championship. It would not just be a great pleasure to me, but also to all of the young Whoomp Del Rio fans, my little Whoompers, who I have visited for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. I may be a one-man tag team, but when I do choose to take a partner [he winks at Marisol], I will always be in the Make-A-Wish Foundation's corner!"

Larry: "Well, that's very impress..."

Whoomp: "....to say nothing of my good friends at the Central American Hurricane Relief Fund. Ah yes, I have spent many an evening looking over the damage incurred by a Panamanian village as the result of a nasty, nasty hurricane. The only thing more powerful than that storm will be the storm in my heart when I wrestle with the spirit of all of those unfortunate hurricane victims at Crossfire."

Faizon: "You are truly an inspiration, Mr. Rio."

Whoomp: "Thank you, Faizon. I try. That's PGA5556."

Marisol: "And with that, we'll go from the Boost Mobile® Where My Opponent At? Command Center back to the ring! Chip, King?"